2012. The year when the world was prophesied to end in December according to the Mayan calendar, and yet I am sitting right here typing this blog post.
Many things happened this year. I formed many new relationships and strengthened old ones. Loads of memories were also made, and I learnt new things which will definitely help me in life.
Travelling is my passion. So I was happy to have travelled to many countries this year: UK, Japan, Thailand. All these trips and meeting with different cultures and different people made me grateful about the simple life we had. Instead of always wanting the latest gadgets or the famous brand of clothing, I learnt to be grateful for all the things I had so far, and also to appreciate the love that my family and friends gave me this year.
The relationships I made this year were also great. Going to a new university allowed me to truly experience meeting and living with lots of people from different countries and cultures. It also allowed me to make new friends, which I will definitely treasure for the rest of my life. Going to a foreign country to study also allowed me to truly experience home-sickness for the first time. I mean, I was like crying in my bed the first few nights I was there, and wondering why did I even take the course. But eventually I realised that it's not like I couldn't see them forever, it's just that I'm not forging a way for myself in life, with my own two hands. So there's nothing to be sad about.
Some people say that life is like a book. Everyday has a new page with adventures to tell, things to learn and tales to remember. I truly believe that and everyday I wake up excited to what the new day brings. And right now I'm getting excited at what the new year will bring. 2013, hopefully you'll be a great year for me! Wait, I'll make it a great year myself!! :)
Wishing everyone a Happy 2013!!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Friday, 28 December 2012
Sunday, 23 December 2012
Ang Thong National Marine Park
Today was my family's 2nd last day at Koh Samui, Thailand. And we decided to go as a family to Ang Thong National Marine Park. It turned out to be the wettest experience I ever had in Thailand, like really wet!
First of all, we had to wake up at 6am just so that we could have our breakfast at 6.30am. This is because the van was supposed to come and pick us up between 7.15 to 7.30am. When the jeep finally arrived to pick us up, I wasn't really thrilled about going but I thought that I would go with an open mind.
Then when we arrived there, our family was like the only Asian family there!! The rest were all Europeans, which was kinda cool in a way. Then while we were eating our light breakfast, ta-da! It started to rain, then pour. Everyone was forced to hide under shelter, and many families wanted to change the date or cancel it altogether. But for our family there was no other choice. After that, the trip was even almost cancelled, due to not enough people going for the trip! For my dad, that's not an option!! But eventually the rain stopped, and due to the guide's persuasion, we ended up going with only one family of 5 not coming along.
The speed boat ride there was about an hour long, so for the ride there, we took a nap. Then came the sights. First there was the snorkelling site, which for us was kind of dull because there were only a few fishes. But still we managed to wear the snorkelling mask and life jacket and take some photos.
After that, we went to a beach and kayaked around the islands. That was kinda fun as it was something outside of the norm, and my brother and I were in one kayak while my parents were in another. Thank god it wasn't raining while we were kayaking!! We then had lunch on the beach.
After lunch, we were given some time to laze on the beach. After a while, all of a sudden, it started to pour, like really heavily. We were then forced to get ourselves wet and rush to board the boat, which was also not really dry as the rain water could be seen coming in to the inside of the boat, making us all wet. That was cool in a way, as the rain was like s heavy and we were like stranded on the boat. Some people were still stranded on the beach, taking shelter below the beach hut!!
Finally the rain lessened and we headed to the viewpoint. The steps to climb to get to the viewpoint were so small. It was like one metal beam for one step. I had to hold the railing with both hands to make sure that I was stable, and the constant rain wasn't helping at all. But at the end we arrived at the viewpoint and got some nice pictures.
Then came the one hour speed boat ride back to the island, which was fun and exciting and scary. Since it was raining heavily, the waves were really big and choppy, so you can imagine the boat ride home: all floating and jumping and crashing and... You can imagine the rest yourself...
Then when we finally came back, we had the choice of either elephant trekking, or fish spa. My family decided to do the fish spa, which was fun and new to me as I have not done it before. The ticklish feeling when all the fish come and nibble at your dead skin at your feet is one that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.
So here you go, my family's experience at Ang Thong National Marine Park in Koh Samui, Thailand. This island is really very beautiful and if you truly want a place to relax yourself, this is the place to go.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
First of all, we had to wake up at 6am just so that we could have our breakfast at 6.30am. This is because the van was supposed to come and pick us up between 7.15 to 7.30am. When the jeep finally arrived to pick us up, I wasn't really thrilled about going but I thought that I would go with an open mind.
Then when we arrived there, our family was like the only Asian family there!! The rest were all Europeans, which was kinda cool in a way. Then while we were eating our light breakfast, ta-da! It started to rain, then pour. Everyone was forced to hide under shelter, and many families wanted to change the date or cancel it altogether. But for our family there was no other choice. After that, the trip was even almost cancelled, due to not enough people going for the trip! For my dad, that's not an option!! But eventually the rain stopped, and due to the guide's persuasion, we ended up going with only one family of 5 not coming along.
The speed boat ride there was about an hour long, so for the ride there, we took a nap. Then came the sights. First there was the snorkelling site, which for us was kind of dull because there were only a few fishes. But still we managed to wear the snorkelling mask and life jacket and take some photos.
After that, we went to a beach and kayaked around the islands. That was kinda fun as it was something outside of the norm, and my brother and I were in one kayak while my parents were in another. Thank god it wasn't raining while we were kayaking!! We then had lunch on the beach.
After lunch, we were given some time to laze on the beach. After a while, all of a sudden, it started to pour, like really heavily. We were then forced to get ourselves wet and rush to board the boat, which was also not really dry as the rain water could be seen coming in to the inside of the boat, making us all wet. That was cool in a way, as the rain was like s heavy and we were like stranded on the boat. Some people were still stranded on the beach, taking shelter below the beach hut!!
Finally the rain lessened and we headed to the viewpoint. The steps to climb to get to the viewpoint were so small. It was like one metal beam for one step. I had to hold the railing with both hands to make sure that I was stable, and the constant rain wasn't helping at all. But at the end we arrived at the viewpoint and got some nice pictures.
Then came the one hour speed boat ride back to the island, which was fun and exciting and scary. Since it was raining heavily, the waves were really big and choppy, so you can imagine the boat ride home: all floating and jumping and crashing and... You can imagine the rest yourself...
Then when we finally came back, we had the choice of either elephant trekking, or fish spa. My family decided to do the fish spa, which was fun and new to me as I have not done it before. The ticklish feeling when all the fish come and nibble at your dead skin at your feet is one that I'll never forget for the rest of my life.
So here you go, my family's experience at Ang Thong National Marine Park in Koh Samui, Thailand. This island is really very beautiful and if you truly want a place to relax yourself, this is the place to go.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Feelings
I don't know about you guys, but I ALWAYS feel real bad when I make someone upset. I often have this bad habit of not thinking things through before I do them, and this often causes me to make someone upset. I then have this HUGE regret, thinking that I could have done it in a better way, so as not to make the person upset.
Sometimes my friends tell me that I over-think things. They tell me that I shouldn't worry too much about other peoples' feelings and just do what I want to do. But I just can't shake the feeling that I have done something bad. Even after I apologise to that person and s/he says that it's alright, I still feel really bad inside,
even more if the person is like close to me, like a friend or a relative.
Am I actually over-thinking things?
What can I do to make things better between us?
After I apologize and the person forgives me, should I just go along with it and act as if things are back to normal?
Over the years, I have learnt that different people deal with this issue differently. Some people are really good at keeping grudges. They forgive you on the surface, but deep down they are still hurt. And then there are those people that don't seem to remember that you hurt them at all. They totally forget about it the next day and act as if nothing happened!! Sometimes I wish I could be that kind of a person...
Oh well, the important thing is to apologize once you found out you have made a mistake, and move on with life. No point trying to see whether the person has forgiven you or not. Whatever that has happened, has happened and life has to go on. Time waits for no man, or woman!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Tuesday, 4 September 2012
Trying my best
"I will try my best." This is the line I often tell my friends and parents when they tell me to work hard to achieve my desired results. However, previously before now and today, I think I've said that line many times only half-heartedly. Many people, not only I, say lots of lies, white and black lies, and we often, if not always, make promises which we don't keep.
Therefore, I hope to curb myself of this bad habit, by really trying my best in everything I do, and be happy regardless of the results. I know, that it is easier said than done, but truthfully, I believe it's time to change myself and really, live my life to the fullest. If I really try my absolute best at the things I do, even if I failed at the end, I'll still feel good about the results and be proud of myself for giving it my all.
Life is all about challenges. Should we decide to face all these challenges and try our absolute best in facing these challenges, can put on a smile on our face regardless of the results. If we fail, it's probably just God's way of telling that:
Therefore, I hope to curb myself of this bad habit, by really trying my best in everything I do, and be happy regardless of the results. I know, that it is easier said than done, but truthfully, I believe it's time to change myself and really, live my life to the fullest. If I really try my absolute best at the things I do, even if I failed at the end, I'll still feel good about the results and be proud of myself for giving it my all.
Life is all about challenges. Should we decide to face all these challenges and try our absolute best in facing these challenges, can put on a smile on our face regardless of the results. If we fail, it's probably just God's way of telling that:
- You did not try your absolute best yet
- Whatever you're doing just isn't suited for you
- Now's probably not the time for you to succeed in that yet
- There's probably a blessing in disguise behind your failure
True, during the first few hours, I might most probably be very upset and throw a fit, balling my eyes out thinking why God would do this to me and how come I just can't pass like the rest of my friends. But after a while and some time calming down, you come to the realisation that life is too short to be caught up in all the failures. If you fail the first time, just keep trying until you succeed at the end. If at the end you find another thing that interests you, perhaps that's God's way of saying that that failure wasn't really that important in the first place.
At the end, this is all probably just pep talk for myself to make myself feel better, but what's important now, is that I really have to give it my all in everything I do, so that I can smile and tell myself that regardless of the results, I have already tried my best.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Monday, 3 September 2012
Driving test
See, this is why I require a blog: to help me to express all my pent up emotions!! Without my blog, I'll most probably get really depressed from not letting out all the pent up emotion. And the best part is, it's not like anyone is going to read all these posts anyway.
Anyway, today was my driving test. I had to a parking test and also a road test, which I miserably failed both. I guess for the road test, I was really nervous. I actually stalled my car 3 times I think, before the examiner asked me to change seats with him and he drove me back to the centre. To tell you the truth, I'm not really emotionally that strong. I really felt like crying that time and almost did, but managed to hold it together until we got back to the centre. I think the reason why I stalled is because I was too nervous, my legs were actually shaking the whole time, and then I think I released the clutch pedal too soon, resulting in the car stalling. I only scored a miserably 8 out of 20.
After that, I had to wait to do the parking test. At first I was worried that I might fail that too, so definitely my legs were shaking badly. So the first part was the slope test. I actually failed the first time and was asked to go down the slope and come up again, but luckily the second time I passed it, and also THANK GOD I managed to do balancing, pass the slope and pass the first part. After that, I was still very afraid, but managed to complete my parking, which was the second part. During my parking, I actually stalled the car 3 times!! But still I managed to pass the parking part, and was asked to go out and do the 3-point turn.
That's when the problem started. I actually, under stress, went into a wrong box which I thought was the box to do the 3-point turn. Then after I realised my STUPID mistake, I panicked and wondered how the hell was I going to solve the problem. However somehow MIRACULOUSLY I managed to reverse out of that spot and drive to the correct box. However, this is how I failed the test: I actually did the first turn properly without stalling the car, then did the reverse okay too (managed to reverse). Then problem arises. I was going to turn out and finish my parking test and also PASS, when... I stalled AGAIN!! Then after that automatically fail already, no second chance. Haiz, I was so going to pass and then come back next week to resit for the road test only. Now I have to come back next Monday to resit for the road test and parking test too.
So right now, my mood is not the best. Right now, I'm thinking what happens if I fail the resit next week? Then there will be no more chances for me already, since I'm going overseas soon after that. That resit is like my last chance. Maybe that's why I asked for 4 hours of extra classes before my resit next Monday. My only problem is that I get really stress before and during the test, my legs shake, and then I can't control the pedals properly. My hands shake too and then that causes my car to stall. How do I solve this problem?
Anyway, today was my driving test. I had to a parking test and also a road test, which I miserably failed both. I guess for the road test, I was really nervous. I actually stalled my car 3 times I think, before the examiner asked me to change seats with him and he drove me back to the centre. To tell you the truth, I'm not really emotionally that strong. I really felt like crying that time and almost did, but managed to hold it together until we got back to the centre. I think the reason why I stalled is because I was too nervous, my legs were actually shaking the whole time, and then I think I released the clutch pedal too soon, resulting in the car stalling. I only scored a miserably 8 out of 20.
After that, I had to wait to do the parking test. At first I was worried that I might fail that too, so definitely my legs were shaking badly. So the first part was the slope test. I actually failed the first time and was asked to go down the slope and come up again, but luckily the second time I passed it, and also THANK GOD I managed to do balancing, pass the slope and pass the first part. After that, I was still very afraid, but managed to complete my parking, which was the second part. During my parking, I actually stalled the car 3 times!! But still I managed to pass the parking part, and was asked to go out and do the 3-point turn.
That's when the problem started. I actually, under stress, went into a wrong box which I thought was the box to do the 3-point turn. Then after I realised my STUPID mistake, I panicked and wondered how the hell was I going to solve the problem. However somehow MIRACULOUSLY I managed to reverse out of that spot and drive to the correct box. However, this is how I failed the test: I actually did the first turn properly without stalling the car, then did the reverse okay too (managed to reverse). Then problem arises. I was going to turn out and finish my parking test and also PASS, when... I stalled AGAIN!! Then after that automatically fail already, no second chance. Haiz, I was so going to pass and then come back next week to resit for the road test only. Now I have to come back next Monday to resit for the road test and parking test too.
So right now, my mood is not the best. Right now, I'm thinking what happens if I fail the resit next week? Then there will be no more chances for me already, since I'm going overseas soon after that. That resit is like my last chance. Maybe that's why I asked for 4 hours of extra classes before my resit next Monday. My only problem is that I get really stress before and during the test, my legs shake, and then I can't control the pedals properly. My hands shake too and then that causes my car to stall. How do I solve this problem?
Tuesday, 28 August 2012
OTAKU!!
Anime. This word has now become a huge, no, gigantic part of my life. Since I watched my first anime, Dragon Ball, at the age of 13 (?), anime has captured my attention and has since became a big part of my life.
I'm now going to confess here on my blog, not like everyone I know reads this. But I have kept this for so long...
Here it goes... I AM AN OTAKU!!
Phew! I just had to get that out of my system! Not that I've been hiding it, but not everybody knows that I'm actually an otaku. I just love reading manga and watching anime, and often catch up with my favourite anime episodes and manga chapters every day. You will be absolutely shocked to see exactly how many manga and anime I read and watch everyday.
For the past 6 years since I was introduced, manga and anime has since became an addiction to me. I even watched a whole anime series with 203 episodes DURING my SPM exam. DURING!! Not before and not after, but DURING!! The amount of time I spend downloading all the anime music and manga + anime wallpaper is also staggering if you wish to know. For me, their music is very inspiring and very catchy, very suiting to my taste. The lyrics are also very nice and inspiring, so I love their music very much! :) Even my iPod's music playist if all filled with anime music!
Plus, the addition of ANIMAX in Astro just adds on to the addiciton, although now I no longer watch anime on TV. Instead I watch it online, on websites, which are constantly updated. Watching anime also helps me to improve on my Japanese, as listening and reading the English subtitles helps me to understand eventually, after watching so MUCH anime series, what the characters are actually talking about.
So, hope that you guys (or whoever that's reading), still like me and accept me for who I am, despite the fact that I'm an otaku. :)
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
I'm now going to confess here on my blog, not like everyone I know reads this. But I have kept this for so long...
Here it goes... I AM AN OTAKU!!
Phew! I just had to get that out of my system! Not that I've been hiding it, but not everybody knows that I'm actually an otaku. I just love reading manga and watching anime, and often catch up with my favourite anime episodes and manga chapters every day. You will be absolutely shocked to see exactly how many manga and anime I read and watch everyday.
For the past 6 years since I was introduced, manga and anime has since became an addiction to me. I even watched a whole anime series with 203 episodes DURING my SPM exam. DURING!! Not before and not after, but DURING!! The amount of time I spend downloading all the anime music and manga + anime wallpaper is also staggering if you wish to know. For me, their music is very inspiring and very catchy, very suiting to my taste. The lyrics are also very nice and inspiring, so I love their music very much! :) Even my iPod's music playist if all filled with anime music!
Plus, the addition of ANIMAX in Astro just adds on to the addiciton, although now I no longer watch anime on TV. Instead I watch it online, on websites, which are constantly updated. Watching anime also helps me to improve on my Japanese, as listening and reading the English subtitles helps me to understand eventually, after watching so MUCH anime series, what the characters are actually talking about.
So, hope that you guys (or whoever that's reading), still like me and accept me for who I am, despite the fact that I'm an otaku. :)
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Tuesday, 21 August 2012
Crying over spilt milk
After I obtained my A levels results, I cried the whole night because I once again failed to meet my requirements marginally. I led myself to believe that my family was disappointed in me, upset that I once again couldn't reach my goals. I even cried thinking that my parents do not want me as their daughter anymore.
However, it was my dad's kind and encouraging words that put me out of my sadness and allowed me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. His words led me to stop crying and to concentrate on solving the problem at hand instead of crying over spilt milk. He told me that instead of crying over not reaching the required grades, I should now consider appealing to my firm and insurance choices, and see whether they reply to my appeals or not. If they do not accept me, and I'm forced into clearing, then I'll have no choice but to go into clearing with all my might and hopefully I can get a place in some university doing the course that I originally wanted. His words really hit home as it made me realise something. I was so obsessed with what I've missed, I myself have failed to think about ways to solve the problem. Sitting on my bed crying over what has passed does not ease my pain, it only intensifies it and doesn't really solve the problem. After that I immediately stopped crying and resolved myself to work extra hard so that I can enter the university that I wanted and also do the course that I wanted.
Thanks to my dad and my hard work, my appeal paid off. I was given Unconditional Firm by University of Manchester. I was truly ecstatic when I heard the news, and was jumping up and down with joy as I informed my parents. They congratulated me for my hard work and asked me to study real hard, which I promised myself that I would.
Through this experience, I found out that crying over spilt milk helps to release the painful emotions instead of storing it deep inside one's heart, but it doesn't help in solving the problem. One has to cry for a while, then stand back up and try to solve the problem. After that promising to work even harder to achieve the next goal is also important.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
However, it was my dad's kind and encouraging words that put me out of my sadness and allowed me to see the light at the end of the tunnel. His words led me to stop crying and to concentrate on solving the problem at hand instead of crying over spilt milk. He told me that instead of crying over not reaching the required grades, I should now consider appealing to my firm and insurance choices, and see whether they reply to my appeals or not. If they do not accept me, and I'm forced into clearing, then I'll have no choice but to go into clearing with all my might and hopefully I can get a place in some university doing the course that I originally wanted. His words really hit home as it made me realise something. I was so obsessed with what I've missed, I myself have failed to think about ways to solve the problem. Sitting on my bed crying over what has passed does not ease my pain, it only intensifies it and doesn't really solve the problem. After that I immediately stopped crying and resolved myself to work extra hard so that I can enter the university that I wanted and also do the course that I wanted.
Thanks to my dad and my hard work, my appeal paid off. I was given Unconditional Firm by University of Manchester. I was truly ecstatic when I heard the news, and was jumping up and down with joy as I informed my parents. They congratulated me for my hard work and asked me to study real hard, which I promised myself that I would.
Through this experience, I found out that crying over spilt milk helps to release the painful emotions instead of storing it deep inside one's heart, but it doesn't help in solving the problem. One has to cry for a while, then stand back up and try to solve the problem. After that promising to work even harder to achieve the next goal is also important.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Sunday, 29 July 2012
Angel & Devil
I currently am unable to fall asleep.
Sometimes, I have a feeling that I'm annoying and troubling other people. But then I will think back and think that I think too much. My friends usually tell me that I tend to overthink things and make them more complicated.
However, I really feel like I'm troubling the person. And I'm afraid that she'll stop being my close friend anymore. I feel like I'm taking advantage of her, and I don't ever want to feel like that towards a friend of mine.
Another part of my brain will also think that: "Hey Audrey, maybe you're overthinking it again. You know her character, so maybe she's not mad at you. You're juts making it more complicated like you usually do. Just relax and pretend as if nothing happened." Arrrggghhh! It's exactly like the angel and devil conversation now!
I have no idea who I should follow: my heart or my brain? Perhaps I should really sit down and figure it out.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
P/s: Maybe I should get her a Hari Raya gift. My dad did tell me to get her a hamper for the celebration.
Sometimes, I have a feeling that I'm annoying and troubling other people. But then I will think back and think that I think too much. My friends usually tell me that I tend to overthink things and make them more complicated.
However, I really feel like I'm troubling the person. And I'm afraid that she'll stop being my close friend anymore. I feel like I'm taking advantage of her, and I don't ever want to feel like that towards a friend of mine.
Another part of my brain will also think that: "Hey Audrey, maybe you're overthinking it again. You know her character, so maybe she's not mad at you. You're juts making it more complicated like you usually do. Just relax and pretend as if nothing happened." Arrrggghhh! It's exactly like the angel and devil conversation now!
I have no idea who I should follow: my heart or my brain? Perhaps I should really sit down and figure it out.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
P/s: Maybe I should get her a Hari Raya gift. My dad did tell me to get her a hamper for the celebration.
Tuesday, 10 July 2012
Sky
Okay, I'm just gonna write what's on my mind right now.
The weather is good today. The sky is clear, blue inn colour. Nice, big white clouds are to be seen in that beautiful blue canvas I call the sky.
From where I'm sitting right now, I can see a row of houses to my left, and my messy yet cozy room on my right. Further away, there's the top of an office block that has just been built not too long ago.
I was just thinking about how sunny the weather is today, whereas it was raining the whole day yesterday, morning to evening. Right now, a huge white cloud is floating right above me, that it makes me relaxed and not worry about the things I was originally worrying about.
I sometimes imagine the sky to be a canvas, and someone poured blue paint all over it, making it sunny. After the paint dried, someone used a dry paintbrush and dabbed some spots of white paint all over the canvas, making it blue with white spots, symbolising clouds. I guess that's a very beautiful method to look at the sky.
However, sometimes the canvas called the sky gets painted in a different colour. When it's going to become cloudy, the blue colour gets replaced with a duller, grey colour, and the clouds also turn a darker shade of grey. Sometimes, it becomes very difficult to differentiate between a cloudy day and a rainy day, as the canvas gets painted with the same colour. When it's raining though, it's like God accidentally poured some water on the canvas, resulting in rain fall.
When it becomes evening, the sky once again gets painted with a different colour. The choice of colours they use differ from day to day, making it difficult for us to guess what colour are they going to paint it today. I personally like the day best when it's turning dark. Watching the sun set as the sky gets painted in a reddish orangy colour, tells me that the night sky will become more beautiful after that. It's like giving me a preview for a movie that I always wanted to watch. And the movie that I always wanted to watch is when it's night time, and the sky gets a splash of black paint that just makes everything dark and mysterious. Sometimes, but not often due to global warming, stars can be seen, which are like little jewels that are put randomly on the canvas. These jewels sparkle wherever they're put, and sometimes they come in different co ordinations that allow us human beings to identify constellations. I think the sky looks different every time you look at it, and every time you look at it, it might stir different emotions and feelings inside of you.
I just love the sky. Don't you?
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
The weather is good today. The sky is clear, blue inn colour. Nice, big white clouds are to be seen in that beautiful blue canvas I call the sky.
From where I'm sitting right now, I can see a row of houses to my left, and my messy yet cozy room on my right. Further away, there's the top of an office block that has just been built not too long ago.
I was just thinking about how sunny the weather is today, whereas it was raining the whole day yesterday, morning to evening. Right now, a huge white cloud is floating right above me, that it makes me relaxed and not worry about the things I was originally worrying about.
I sometimes imagine the sky to be a canvas, and someone poured blue paint all over it, making it sunny. After the paint dried, someone used a dry paintbrush and dabbed some spots of white paint all over the canvas, making it blue with white spots, symbolising clouds. I guess that's a very beautiful method to look at the sky.
However, sometimes the canvas called the sky gets painted in a different colour. When it's going to become cloudy, the blue colour gets replaced with a duller, grey colour, and the clouds also turn a darker shade of grey. Sometimes, it becomes very difficult to differentiate between a cloudy day and a rainy day, as the canvas gets painted with the same colour. When it's raining though, it's like God accidentally poured some water on the canvas, resulting in rain fall.
When it becomes evening, the sky once again gets painted with a different colour. The choice of colours they use differ from day to day, making it difficult for us to guess what colour are they going to paint it today. I personally like the day best when it's turning dark. Watching the sun set as the sky gets painted in a reddish orangy colour, tells me that the night sky will become more beautiful after that. It's like giving me a preview for a movie that I always wanted to watch. And the movie that I always wanted to watch is when it's night time, and the sky gets a splash of black paint that just makes everything dark and mysterious. Sometimes, but not often due to global warming, stars can be seen, which are like little jewels that are put randomly on the canvas. These jewels sparkle wherever they're put, and sometimes they come in different co ordinations that allow us human beings to identify constellations. I think the sky looks different every time you look at it, and every time you look at it, it might stir different emotions and feelings inside of you.
I just love the sky. Don't you?
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Thursday, 28 June 2012
Problems
Just recently, my parents set up an ultimatum. They said that the internet/modem will automatically be turned off at 12.00am sharp. And they say that it's because of my brother and his downward spiral in exam results.
I think they had an argument, because tomorrow is my brother's school's open day, and his results are't exactly that good. Before I would kepo and go ask what's wrong, trying to solve the issue and make everyone happy. But now I try to stay out of it unless asked to step in and give advice or something similar. Sometimes you just can't make everyone happy. And once someone is in a bad mood, all hell breaks loose if you push his/her buttons. That's what happens in my family, although most of the time, the issue gets resolved after a while.
Probably that's the nature of Librans: wanting to please everyone and make everybody happy. But one has to realise that that's not possible all the time. Sometimes you just can't please everyone. And with me going overseas soon, I have to learn to let go and let my family deal with their own internal struggles, unless it includes me. One will get tired from trying to please everyone and making everyone happy. We're always trying to make it into a win-win situation but sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes it'll become a win-lose situation.
Crap, and then I have to tell my dad something important regarding me when he's not in a good mood. Not really the best idea now, so I have to come up with a strategy on how to approach him with this matter. Haiz... Let me think about the strategy first...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
I think they had an argument, because tomorrow is my brother's school's open day, and his results are't exactly that good. Before I would kepo and go ask what's wrong, trying to solve the issue and make everyone happy. But now I try to stay out of it unless asked to step in and give advice or something similar. Sometimes you just can't make everyone happy. And once someone is in a bad mood, all hell breaks loose if you push his/her buttons. That's what happens in my family, although most of the time, the issue gets resolved after a while.
Probably that's the nature of Librans: wanting to please everyone and make everybody happy. But one has to realise that that's not possible all the time. Sometimes you just can't please everyone. And with me going overseas soon, I have to learn to let go and let my family deal with their own internal struggles, unless it includes me. One will get tired from trying to please everyone and making everyone happy. We're always trying to make it into a win-win situation but sometimes that's just not possible. Sometimes it'll become a win-lose situation.
Crap, and then I have to tell my dad something important regarding me when he's not in a good mood. Not really the best idea now, so I have to come up with a strategy on how to approach him with this matter. Haiz... Let me think about the strategy first...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Tuesday, 19 June 2012
Enjoying life
Life is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, and we just have to go with the flow.
Mostly things don't go as planned in life. God will often throw at us obstacles in our life, hoping that we can solve it and become stronger human beings in the process. Everytime we think that everything's done and we can just kick back and relax, something will happen that can instantly make our lives sometimes a living hell. That's why it's important to be flexible in life. Moderately flexible, as becoming too flexible can cause a person to have no backbone and can't stand up for herself. She's always be swayed by everybody around her and not be able to make her own decisions. However, a person who's too rigid is not good either. A person who's too rigid will only know how to get to a place from A to B using that particular route, and if someone uses a different route, she'll be lost instantly without a doubt.
Often one asks the question: Should I plan my life, or should I just live life as it is and not worry about everything? For a perfectionist like me, I spend my days and nights planning my life. Thinking about what to cook for meals, when to do the chores, what time should I do this activity, how many people are going to the gathering I'm organising, what should I study today... These are just the tip of the iceberg as to the amount of planning I do with my life daily. Take for example I'm going out with a few friends tomorrow. The night before, I'll be thinking: "Hmmm, what should I wear tomorrow? What should I bring tomorrow? What time must I reach there to be punctual? Have I really taken everything I need? *rechecks again* This usually takes me about half an hour before I sleep, and then I think that I can sleep peacefully, thinking that I have prepared for every possible scenario that can appear the next day. However, something happens tomorrow that's totally out of my imagination, not the scenario that I've prepared for, and I somehow panic inside. I panic that I might not be prepared for this scenario and sometimes forcefully put up a strong front so that my friends and family do not see that I'm actually scared inside.
Often putting up a strong front is tiring inside though. Sometimes I just want to go to the toilet so badly and just sit in the stall and cry my hearts out, venting out all my disappointment and frustration. I thought that staying in there and not coming out can make my problems go away, and then I'll be free to do what I want again. Everybody knows that does not happen in real life. If it really was that easy, almost everybody will be using this method right now. That's where flexibility comes in. Someone who's flexible can adapt to different situations easier and can calmly decide on what to do next without jeopardising the current situation. I believe that I'm a little flexible, but I can definitely learn to be more flexible in life.
Often I envy my friends who can just smile at any unexpected change in a situation and calmly accept it and move on with life. I wish that I can become more like them and just enjoy life as it is. I am currently slowly learning to let go and do just that. Constantly worrying does the mind and body no good, but never worrying about anything isn't good either. It's important to strike a balance between the two, as important it is to strike a balance with everything in life. So now I'm just going to sit back, relax and enjoy my life to its fullest!! :)
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Sunday, 27 May 2012
Words
Words. They sometimes, nope all the time, leave lasting impressions on other people. Some people might not be taken seriously, but the words they speak will always be remembered, and sometimes even quoted by other people. That's one of the reasons why we should think before we open our mouth.
Lets say we are frustrated with someone. We can always just open our mouth and drop the F*** bomb, and then shout out our frustration. But we also have to consider our impression towards other people. Of course not towards the one you're frustrated at, but other people in public. I admit, once you get really frustrated with someone, you don't care about them anymore and just want to express your frustration. But sometimes it works to just take a deep breath and then think about the consequences. Sometimes it's mentally excruciating to the other person if you just walk away, even if you're super frustrated with him. He expected you to blow your top and shout your lungs out, but if you decide to walk away from the situation, he'll be mentally tortured and then left clueless as to what you're actually thinking. Actually it's pointless talking to this type of people. It's just not worth your time.
Another one that one should really think first before opening their mouth is when they are gossiping about other people. When gossiping, one tend to go over the top and spout things that don't really have any basis. And not just ladies, guys do that too. And then they tend to add their own opinion into it. You know what's the worst part? When you thought that the person you're badmouthing about isn't there, suddenly they appear from the shadows. And everybody gives you the "Oh, Shit!" sign. What are you supposed to do?! You badmouthed him so loudly and then expect him to not hear you? Probably that's one of the reasons why people badmouth in secret, checking and see whether he/she is around the area before starting to badmouth. This trick works...50% of the time. The other 50% depends on luck.
Actions speak louder than words. But words can leave impressions on people who you don't even know, and different people can have different impressions about the same words you speak. Some people might even misunderstand the true meaning behind what you said, but never bother to come and tell you that 'cause they don't freaking even know you! You are then forced to carry the burden for the rest of your life.
That's why it's very important to think before you open your mouth to speak.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Lets say we are frustrated with someone. We can always just open our mouth and drop the F*** bomb, and then shout out our frustration. But we also have to consider our impression towards other people. Of course not towards the one you're frustrated at, but other people in public. I admit, once you get really frustrated with someone, you don't care about them anymore and just want to express your frustration. But sometimes it works to just take a deep breath and then think about the consequences. Sometimes it's mentally excruciating to the other person if you just walk away, even if you're super frustrated with him. He expected you to blow your top and shout your lungs out, but if you decide to walk away from the situation, he'll be mentally tortured and then left clueless as to what you're actually thinking. Actually it's pointless talking to this type of people. It's just not worth your time.
Another one that one should really think first before opening their mouth is when they are gossiping about other people. When gossiping, one tend to go over the top and spout things that don't really have any basis. And not just ladies, guys do that too. And then they tend to add their own opinion into it. You know what's the worst part? When you thought that the person you're badmouthing about isn't there, suddenly they appear from the shadows. And everybody gives you the "Oh, Shit!" sign. What are you supposed to do?! You badmouthed him so loudly and then expect him to not hear you? Probably that's one of the reasons why people badmouth in secret, checking and see whether he/she is around the area before starting to badmouth. This trick works...50% of the time. The other 50% depends on luck.
Actions speak louder than words. But words can leave impressions on people who you don't even know, and different people can have different impressions about the same words you speak. Some people might even misunderstand the true meaning behind what you said, but never bother to come and tell you that 'cause they don't freaking even know you! You are then forced to carry the burden for the rest of your life.
That's why it's very important to think before you open your mouth to speak.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Exams
Exams. We definitely have to face them in our life. They provide us with a good way to test our abilities (Well, that's a good way to put it), or they give us hell everytime they're on.
For me, exams serve as a way to constantly remind me that I did not study enough. They give parents a tool to constantly remind their kids to study harder, all so that they can obtain good grades for a supposedly better future.
When the results come out, they don't cease to surprise us. People either get shocked that they can get such good grades, or so shocked that they can obtain such lousy grades. Some people can already prepare their emotions, but still get shocked when they receive their results. There are only a small percentile of humans who can project the proper emotion while collecting their results. I fall in the larger percentile.
Take the recent exam I just took, the results are out, and I have mixed emotions this time. I'm partly relieved that I didn't get bad results. But there's also a small part of me that reminds me of how much I've slacked during this holiday, and that I should properly go into "NERD" mode if I am to get good grades for the actual exam. (Yes, it's only trials...) That's what my parents are now constantly reminding me, every single day. They never stop doing that, I guess it's just the nature of parents.
So now it's crunch time for me. I really have to get good grades to be accepted into my desired universities in UK. One has AAA, while another has AAB. Either way, my current results of BBB is definitely not good enough. You think I don't know that?! That just means that I have to really study hard for my actual exams to obtain my desired grades. Heads off to exams for giving me that stark reminder!
Anyway, guess I've ranted enough here. Time to go study!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
For me, exams serve as a way to constantly remind me that I did not study enough. They give parents a tool to constantly remind their kids to study harder, all so that they can obtain good grades for a supposedly better future.
When the results come out, they don't cease to surprise us. People either get shocked that they can get such good grades, or so shocked that they can obtain such lousy grades. Some people can already prepare their emotions, but still get shocked when they receive their results. There are only a small percentile of humans who can project the proper emotion while collecting their results. I fall in the larger percentile.
Take the recent exam I just took, the results are out, and I have mixed emotions this time. I'm partly relieved that I didn't get bad results. But there's also a small part of me that reminds me of how much I've slacked during this holiday, and that I should properly go into "NERD" mode if I am to get good grades for the actual exam. (Yes, it's only trials...) That's what my parents are now constantly reminding me, every single day. They never stop doing that, I guess it's just the nature of parents.
So now it's crunch time for me. I really have to get good grades to be accepted into my desired universities in UK. One has AAA, while another has AAB. Either way, my current results of BBB is definitely not good enough. You think I don't know that?! That just means that I have to really study hard for my actual exams to obtain my desired grades. Heads off to exams for giving me that stark reminder!
Anyway, guess I've ranted enough here. Time to go study!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Some things are just meant to be...
These few years I have grown up. Gradually shedding my past self and evolving into my future self. Although I still need more time to mature and grow, I like to believe and trust myself that after 18 years and 5 months of living, I have found out that some things are just meant to be.
Growing up was tough. My childhood was a mixture of happy and painful memories, some I can't even remember. But one thing I vividly remember was my lack of friends when I was young. I was a very introvert child. There were times when I would go to a relatives house, and not utter a single word to anyone, just shutting myself out in a corner of his/her house (reminder: not MY house), and look at my storybook or something else. My primary school was for me, 6 years of painful memories and lies. Until now, I can barely remember my primary school mates, and to tell the truth, we weren't really that close to begin with. I got cheated of my money because of my naivety, got asked to go to a fake birthday party where I was the only invitee, and got trash talked because I was the class head for a semester. After that, I desperately wanted a change of environment and change of image, which led me to my secondary school life.
My secondary school life was way better than my primary school life. I had to attend the school which my mother taught, and all my other friends went their separate ways. That was the time when I decided that I would do a total change of image. I was also so desperate to get friendship since it was something I was so deprived of during my childhood. However, I realised that I couldn't do it. I just can't make friends after all. There were days where I would go to my bedroom and just cry on my bed, thinking that I can't make any friends in my life.
Then, things started to change. People started introducing themselves to me because I was a teacher's daughter. Random people from different classes and different forms started to talk to me. That made me come out of my shell. I then realised that in order to gain friends, real friends, I have to start to talk to people instead of having people come and talk to me. That's when the paradigm shift happen for me. I joined the prefectorial board, became active in my co-curricular activities, and also talked to people more often, sometimes those efforts come in vain. I still remember that day, when I finally got my first real friend, I came home smiling for the first time, knowing that I don't have to cry anymore on my bed...
Then as the years passed, my efforts paid off. I gained lots of friends, and my circle just keeps expanding. Then when I came to college, I also gained many friends, all from different backgrounds, different countries, and different states. That was when I realise, that some things are just meant to happen that way. These experiences are a way to let us grow as human beings. Those tears are methods of channelling our emotion, and when the time comes, we should smile from the bottom of our hearts.
That's what I truly believe...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Growing up was tough. My childhood was a mixture of happy and painful memories, some I can't even remember. But one thing I vividly remember was my lack of friends when I was young. I was a very introvert child. There were times when I would go to a relatives house, and not utter a single word to anyone, just shutting myself out in a corner of his/her house (reminder: not MY house), and look at my storybook or something else. My primary school was for me, 6 years of painful memories and lies. Until now, I can barely remember my primary school mates, and to tell the truth, we weren't really that close to begin with. I got cheated of my money because of my naivety, got asked to go to a fake birthday party where I was the only invitee, and got trash talked because I was the class head for a semester. After that, I desperately wanted a change of environment and change of image, which led me to my secondary school life.
My secondary school life was way better than my primary school life. I had to attend the school which my mother taught, and all my other friends went their separate ways. That was the time when I decided that I would do a total change of image. I was also so desperate to get friendship since it was something I was so deprived of during my childhood. However, I realised that I couldn't do it. I just can't make friends after all. There were days where I would go to my bedroom and just cry on my bed, thinking that I can't make any friends in my life.
Then, things started to change. People started introducing themselves to me because I was a teacher's daughter. Random people from different classes and different forms started to talk to me. That made me come out of my shell. I then realised that in order to gain friends, real friends, I have to start to talk to people instead of having people come and talk to me. That's when the paradigm shift happen for me. I joined the prefectorial board, became active in my co-curricular activities, and also talked to people more often, sometimes those efforts come in vain. I still remember that day, when I finally got my first real friend, I came home smiling for the first time, knowing that I don't have to cry anymore on my bed...
Then as the years passed, my efforts paid off. I gained lots of friends, and my circle just keeps expanding. Then when I came to college, I also gained many friends, all from different backgrounds, different countries, and different states. That was when I realise, that some things are just meant to happen that way. These experiences are a way to let us grow as human beings. Those tears are methods of channelling our emotion, and when the time comes, we should smile from the bottom of our hearts.
That's what I truly believe...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Saturday, 10 March 2012
Emotions
Emotions. All of us are bound to feel it everyday of our lives. There are many different kinds of emotions: happiness, sadness, frustration, love, rejection... We can choose to either accept these emotions, or bottle up all these emotions inside. The key is in our hands, and it's up to us to decide which door to open.
There comes a time when we are thrust into a situation where all the emotions come at once. We are then forced to deal with these emotions, some of which we have been bottling up for hours, days, months, even years... We then show these emotions on our faces, feeling it in our souls. After that, we realise that this is very freeing, very liberating and our body and mind feel lighter.
Recently, my family and I have all been thrown into situations where we are forced to deal with our own emotions. Now thinking back, all those different situations helped us grow as human beings. I, in particular, matured a lot during this year. I was forced to deal with a lot of my own emotions, many of them which have been bottled up inside my heart for a long period of time. However, after all this, I realise that I can now move forward with my life more matured and feeling confident about myself. I've accepted these emotions and can now move forward with my own life.
The subject regarding emotions has always been a very sensitive and complex one. Some people don't even want to talk about it, while some just want someone to listen to them and give them some advice on what to do. But ultimately, the decision is up to ourself.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
There comes a time when we are thrust into a situation where all the emotions come at once. We are then forced to deal with these emotions, some of which we have been bottling up for hours, days, months, even years... We then show these emotions on our faces, feeling it in our souls. After that, we realise that this is very freeing, very liberating and our body and mind feel lighter.
Recently, my family and I have all been thrown into situations where we are forced to deal with our own emotions. Now thinking back, all those different situations helped us grow as human beings. I, in particular, matured a lot during this year. I was forced to deal with a lot of my own emotions, many of them which have been bottled up inside my heart for a long period of time. However, after all this, I realise that I can now move forward with my life more matured and feeling confident about myself. I've accepted these emotions and can now move forward with my own life.
The subject regarding emotions has always been a very sensitive and complex one. Some people don't even want to talk about it, while some just want someone to listen to them and give them some advice on what to do. But ultimately, the decision is up to ourself.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Friday, 2 March 2012
Technology in the 21st century
My friend just recently got his own iPhone 4S. A part of me is jealous of him, but my rational self is telling me to calm down and to tell myself that if I work hard, I might be able to get one new smartphone of my own before I go UK.
Sometimes when we see people's new phones, tablets or laptops, we seem to be amazed at these few things:
Sometimes when we see people's new phones, tablets or laptops, we seem to be amazed at these few things:
- How rich their families are?
- How hard they must have worked to get that?
- How many games they are going to be able to play with that device?
Most people always make the assumption that all people who can afford the latest smartphones, tablets and laptops must be rich, but most of the time that does not seem to be the case. Many people save up money to buy that particular gadget, sometimes taking up months of their salary. They have to make sacrifices to get what they want. Plus, money doesn't just drop from the sky...
That was evidently true when I finally got my iPod touch 4th generation. At first, I wanted just a normal Sony MP3 player to become my portable music player. I didn't even cared what brand it was, as long as it could store music and play them anywhere I want. Actually, now thinking back, I really was quite humble at that time. Then it took me about 2 years to finally grow the balls to tell my parents that I wish to buy a new MP3 player for my birthday. And the funny thing was that they agreed... I wasn't expecting that. Normally parents would say: "Haiyo, you still got your laptop right? You can listen music from there what?! And then your handphone some more can store and play music... No need to waste money lah!" But then this time, they amazingly agreed that it was okay for me to get my MP3 player for my birthday present. On my birthday, we actually went to the nearest shopping mall to shop for it. Then coming to a Mac store, I wanted to just go in and have a look. I never wanted to have an iPod touch, but then suddenly my dad was like: "Hey Audrey, why not you have an iPod touch instead?" Instantly, I was filled with joy, but didn't want to show it to my parents because I wanted to appear mature. But at the end... You guys know the outcome to that story, so I'm not going to tell.
Nowadays, technology seems to have taken over our world. We have televisions, computers, laptops, smartphones, tablets... You can't walk down the street without seeing someone holding an iPad or someone playing with his iPhone. Samsung is climbing up the technology ladder, and currently HTC is also doing the same. Some smartphones even have genders now, for example the HTC Rhyme, which is specially tailored for females. This just shows how much our society has evolved into a technology society. One that is only concerned with their handphones, tablets and laptops.
I for one, think that even though technology helps us to move into the future; one should always never forget about the past, how the past has helped to mould us to who we are today. We have to be very grateful to our ancestors for that. Human relations are also equally important as technology, or if not, more important. We should always spend the time to care about other people, instead of just staring into our gadgets and minding our own business (MYOB)...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
P/s: Dad, mum, I want a new smartphone! Best before I go to UK! Thanks! :P
Thursday, 1 March 2012
Many sleepless nights
These few days (and nights), I find that my body clock is all screwed up.
I tend to feel sleepy during the day, and feel most awake at night. Or sometimes worst case scenario happens, I feel sleepy during the day and night! And then I get nothing done correctly because I'm just to sleepy to pay attention!
My day starts at 7.00am almost everyday, and I wake up tired. This is due to me staying up late the previous night to study or to finish all my incomplete homework, which sometimes still end up incomplete. Then going to college tired, I have to force myself to stay awake and pay attention in class. After college, I'll sleep on the way back and then reach home, and sleep again for like 1-2 hours. Then wake up and get ready for dinner. After dinner, it's studying until the wee hours of the morning again...
Sometimes it's not that I want to study until the wee hours of the morning, but it's just that I can't sleep until that time in the morning! Maybe because I took damn long naps in the afternoon...
So how do I fix that? Trying to regulate my body clock with more stress doesn't really do much of a favour. Maybe I should try forcing myself to sleep? Definitely no sleeping pills! I hate using them to sleep, rather use some natural methods.
So right now, I can't sleep yet. It's like 12.04am and I'm still awake. I won't say wide awake, but awake alone is fine. Hopefully I can sleep soon, so that I can wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed.
I tend to feel sleepy during the day, and feel most awake at night. Or sometimes worst case scenario happens, I feel sleepy during the day and night! And then I get nothing done correctly because I'm just to sleepy to pay attention!
My day starts at 7.00am almost everyday, and I wake up tired. This is due to me staying up late the previous night to study or to finish all my incomplete homework, which sometimes still end up incomplete. Then going to college tired, I have to force myself to stay awake and pay attention in class. After college, I'll sleep on the way back and then reach home, and sleep again for like 1-2 hours. Then wake up and get ready for dinner. After dinner, it's studying until the wee hours of the morning again...
Sometimes it's not that I want to study until the wee hours of the morning, but it's just that I can't sleep until that time in the morning! Maybe because I took damn long naps in the afternoon...
So how do I fix that? Trying to regulate my body clock with more stress doesn't really do much of a favour. Maybe I should try forcing myself to sleep? Definitely no sleeping pills! I hate using them to sleep, rather use some natural methods.
So right now, I can't sleep yet. It's like 12.04am and I'm still awake. I won't say wide awake, but awake alone is fine. Hopefully I can sleep soon, so that I can wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Rejection
Rejection. It's an expression that many people around the world interpret differently. Some people think that it's the end of the world, others might think that it's God way of saying that you're not meant for this......
However, what's really important is not how others treat rejection. It's how you yourself treat it. That really depends on whether you're optimistic about it, or pessimistic about it. If you're optimistic, the rejection could mean that probably this is just not the one for you, and that probably this is God's way of telling you that you'll be better off doing something else. If you're pessimistic however, it's a whole different story altogether. Getting rejected could mean your whole world has shattered, crumbled underneath your feet, and that there's no more hope for you. It's all over for you...
Recently I just got rejected by the university which I applied to. I really wanted to be able to go to this uni, and was waiting for a hopeful reply from them. After days and nights of checking, I finally saw a word there which I believe would change my life: "Unsuccessful". That word itself gave me mixed emotions. Part of me want to just shut myself in my bedroom and cry, and also figure out what could go wrong. Another part of me was like: You know what, this is not going to stop me. I have many other offers that other unis have given me, and I can't go down due to just one rejection.
Sometimes life is not a bowl of ice cream. A famous Dale Carnegie once said that: 'Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.' I truly believe in that, and that quote alone has helped me through some of the toughest rejections in my 18 years of life. So I'm going to treat this rejection as another one of those stepping stones. They are there to trip and make you fall, but the ultimate decision to get back up and continue walking is your own.
XOXO,
However, what's really important is not how others treat rejection. It's how you yourself treat it. That really depends on whether you're optimistic about it, or pessimistic about it. If you're optimistic, the rejection could mean that probably this is just not the one for you, and that probably this is God's way of telling you that you'll be better off doing something else. If you're pessimistic however, it's a whole different story altogether. Getting rejected could mean your whole world has shattered, crumbled underneath your feet, and that there's no more hope for you. It's all over for you...
Recently I just got rejected by the university which I applied to. I really wanted to be able to go to this uni, and was waiting for a hopeful reply from them. After days and nights of checking, I finally saw a word there which I believe would change my life: "Unsuccessful". That word itself gave me mixed emotions. Part of me want to just shut myself in my bedroom and cry, and also figure out what could go wrong. Another part of me was like: You know what, this is not going to stop me. I have many other offers that other unis have given me, and I can't go down due to just one rejection.
Sometimes life is not a bowl of ice cream. A famous Dale Carnegie once said that: 'Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.' I truly believe in that, and that quote alone has helped me through some of the toughest rejections in my 18 years of life. So I'm going to treat this rejection as another one of those stepping stones. They are there to trip and make you fall, but the ultimate decision to get back up and continue walking is your own.
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Wednesday, 29 February 2012
Trials
These few weeks, all I've been hearing of were exams. My brother's exams are next week, IB trials were just over, and my own A2 trials are coming few weeks later. OMG! All the studying it takes to make sure that I get good grades (well, at least better grades than my last exam...)
Everybody is pressuring me to study like shit. But somehow I think that I have to study harder than shit, since I'm not as smart as everybody else and all. My mum always told me that when other people only have to study once to understand, I'll always have to study 3 times as hard as them in order to understand the same thing! However, this makes me understand that nothing comes easy in life, especially for me. I'm just not one of the gifted ones. And my so-called 'smartness' really comes from many sleepless night and asking useless, nonsense questions that most of my friends already understand.
Speaking of studying, I really have to start upping my efforts in studying if I want to get good grades. These few days I have been slacking off. But for me it's starting to get kind of difficult to maintain the balance I was trying to find between studies and fun. These few years, I have been searching for that balance point between my studies and having fun at the same time. I'm just not willing to sacrifice either of them. Some people tell me that it's impossible to do that, but somewhere along the line, I believe that I have already found my balance point. Well, finding that balance point does work in my favour, as I get to do both, but it's taxing to the body.
Well, this means that for these 3 weeks, no more playing around for me. It's time to get serious and on with it. This is for my future!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Everybody is pressuring me to study like shit. But somehow I think that I have to study harder than shit, since I'm not as smart as everybody else and all. My mum always told me that when other people only have to study once to understand, I'll always have to study 3 times as hard as them in order to understand the same thing! However, this makes me understand that nothing comes easy in life, especially for me. I'm just not one of the gifted ones. And my so-called 'smartness' really comes from many sleepless night and asking useless, nonsense questions that most of my friends already understand.
Speaking of studying, I really have to start upping my efforts in studying if I want to get good grades. These few days I have been slacking off. But for me it's starting to get kind of difficult to maintain the balance I was trying to find between studies and fun. These few years, I have been searching for that balance point between my studies and having fun at the same time. I'm just not willing to sacrifice either of them. Some people tell me that it's impossible to do that, but somewhere along the line, I believe that I have already found my balance point. Well, finding that balance point does work in my favour, as I get to do both, but it's taxing to the body.
Well, this means that for these 3 weeks, no more playing around for me. It's time to get serious and on with it. This is for my future!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
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