Exams. We definitely have to face them in our life. They provide us with a good way to test our abilities (Well, that's a good way to put it), or they give us hell everytime they're on.
For me, exams serve as a way to constantly remind me that I did not study enough. They give parents a tool to constantly remind their kids to study harder, all so that they can obtain good grades for a supposedly better future.
When the results come out, they don't cease to surprise us. People either get shocked that they can get such good grades, or so shocked that they can obtain such lousy grades. Some people can already prepare their emotions, but still get shocked when they receive their results. There are only a small percentile of humans who can project the proper emotion while collecting their results. I fall in the larger percentile.
Take the recent exam I just took, the results are out, and I have mixed emotions this time. I'm partly relieved that I didn't get bad results. But there's also a small part of me that reminds me of how much I've slacked during this holiday, and that I should properly go into "NERD" mode if I am to get good grades for the actual exam. (Yes, it's only trials...) That's what my parents are now constantly reminding me, every single day. They never stop doing that, I guess it's just the nature of parents.
So now it's crunch time for me. I really have to get good grades to be accepted into my desired universities in UK. One has AAA, while another has AAB. Either way, my current results of BBB is definitely not good enough. You think I don't know that?! That just means that I have to really study hard for my actual exams to obtain my desired grades. Heads off to exams for giving me that stark reminder!
Anyway, guess I've ranted enough here. Time to go study!
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Sunday, 15 April 2012
Sunday, 1 April 2012
Some things are just meant to be...
These few years I have grown up. Gradually shedding my past self and evolving into my future self. Although I still need more time to mature and grow, I like to believe and trust myself that after 18 years and 5 months of living, I have found out that some things are just meant to be.
Growing up was tough. My childhood was a mixture of happy and painful memories, some I can't even remember. But one thing I vividly remember was my lack of friends when I was young. I was a very introvert child. There were times when I would go to a relatives house, and not utter a single word to anyone, just shutting myself out in a corner of his/her house (reminder: not MY house), and look at my storybook or something else. My primary school was for me, 6 years of painful memories and lies. Until now, I can barely remember my primary school mates, and to tell the truth, we weren't really that close to begin with. I got cheated of my money because of my naivety, got asked to go to a fake birthday party where I was the only invitee, and got trash talked because I was the class head for a semester. After that, I desperately wanted a change of environment and change of image, which led me to my secondary school life.
My secondary school life was way better than my primary school life. I had to attend the school which my mother taught, and all my other friends went their separate ways. That was the time when I decided that I would do a total change of image. I was also so desperate to get friendship since it was something I was so deprived of during my childhood. However, I realised that I couldn't do it. I just can't make friends after all. There were days where I would go to my bedroom and just cry on my bed, thinking that I can't make any friends in my life.
Then, things started to change. People started introducing themselves to me because I was a teacher's daughter. Random people from different classes and different forms started to talk to me. That made me come out of my shell. I then realised that in order to gain friends, real friends, I have to start to talk to people instead of having people come and talk to me. That's when the paradigm shift happen for me. I joined the prefectorial board, became active in my co-curricular activities, and also talked to people more often, sometimes those efforts come in vain. I still remember that day, when I finally got my first real friend, I came home smiling for the first time, knowing that I don't have to cry anymore on my bed...
Then as the years passed, my efforts paid off. I gained lots of friends, and my circle just keeps expanding. Then when I came to college, I also gained many friends, all from different backgrounds, different countries, and different states. That was when I realise, that some things are just meant to happen that way. These experiences are a way to let us grow as human beings. Those tears are methods of channelling our emotion, and when the time comes, we should smile from the bottom of our hearts.
That's what I truly believe...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Growing up was tough. My childhood was a mixture of happy and painful memories, some I can't even remember. But one thing I vividly remember was my lack of friends when I was young. I was a very introvert child. There were times when I would go to a relatives house, and not utter a single word to anyone, just shutting myself out in a corner of his/her house (reminder: not MY house), and look at my storybook or something else. My primary school was for me, 6 years of painful memories and lies. Until now, I can barely remember my primary school mates, and to tell the truth, we weren't really that close to begin with. I got cheated of my money because of my naivety, got asked to go to a fake birthday party where I was the only invitee, and got trash talked because I was the class head for a semester. After that, I desperately wanted a change of environment and change of image, which led me to my secondary school life.
My secondary school life was way better than my primary school life. I had to attend the school which my mother taught, and all my other friends went their separate ways. That was the time when I decided that I would do a total change of image. I was also so desperate to get friendship since it was something I was so deprived of during my childhood. However, I realised that I couldn't do it. I just can't make friends after all. There were days where I would go to my bedroom and just cry on my bed, thinking that I can't make any friends in my life.
Then, things started to change. People started introducing themselves to me because I was a teacher's daughter. Random people from different classes and different forms started to talk to me. That made me come out of my shell. I then realised that in order to gain friends, real friends, I have to start to talk to people instead of having people come and talk to me. That's when the paradigm shift happen for me. I joined the prefectorial board, became active in my co-curricular activities, and also talked to people more often, sometimes those efforts come in vain. I still remember that day, when I finally got my first real friend, I came home smiling for the first time, knowing that I don't have to cry anymore on my bed...
Then as the years passed, my efforts paid off. I gained lots of friends, and my circle just keeps expanding. Then when I came to college, I also gained many friends, all from different backgrounds, different countries, and different states. That was when I realise, that some things are just meant to happen that way. These experiences are a way to let us grow as human beings. Those tears are methods of channelling our emotion, and when the time comes, we should smile from the bottom of our hearts.
That's what I truly believe...
XOXO,
Audrey Leow
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)