Trying my best

"I will try my best." This is the line I often tell my friends and parents when they tell me to work hard to achieve my desired results. However, previously before now and today, I think I've said that line many times only half-heartedly. Many people, not only I, say lots of lies, white and black lies, and we often, if not always, make promises which we don't keep.

Therefore, I hope to curb myself of this bad habit, by really trying my best in everything I do, and be happy regardless of the results. I know, that it is easier said than done, but truthfully, I believe it's time to change myself and really, live my life to the fullest. If I really try my absolute best at the things I do, even if I failed at the end, I'll still feel good about the results and be proud of myself for giving it my all.

Life is all about challenges. Should we decide to face all these challenges and try our absolute best in facing these challenges, can put on a smile on our face regardless of the results. If we fail, it's probably just God's way of telling that:

1. You did not try your absolute best yet
2. Whatever you're doing just isn't suited for you
3. Now's probably not the time for you to succeed in that yet
4. There's probably a blessing in disguise behind your failure

True, during the first few hours, I might most probably be very upset and throw a fit, balling my eyes out thinking why God would do this to me and how come I just can't pass like the rest of my friends. But after a while and some time calming down, you come to the realisation that life is too short to be caught up in all the failures. If you fail the first time, just keep trying until you succeed at the end. If at the end you find another thing that interests you, perhaps that's God's way of saying that that failure wasn't really that important in the first place. 

At the end, this is all probably just pep talk for myself to make myself feel better, but what's important now, is that I really have to give it my all in everything I do, so that I can smile and tell myself that regardless of the results, I have already tried my best. 

XOXO,

Audrey Leow

Driving test

See, this is why I require a blog: to help me to express all my pent up emotions!! Without my blog, I'll most probably get really depressed from not letting out all the pent up emotion. And the best part is, it's not like anyone is going to read all these posts anyway.

Anyway, today was my driving test. I had to a parking test and also a road test, which I miserably failed both. I guess for the road test, I was really nervous. I actually stalled my car 3 times I think, before the examiner asked me to change seats with him and he drove me back to the centre. To tell you the truth, I'm not really emotionally that strong. I really felt like crying that time and almost did, but managed to hold it together until we got back to the centre. I think the reason why I stalled is because I was too nervous, my legs were actually shaking the whole time, and then I think I released the clutch pedal too soon, resulting in the car stalling. I only scored a miserably 8 out of 20.

After that, I had to wait to do the parking test. At first I was worried that I might fail that too, so definitely my legs were shaking badly. So the first part was the slope test. I actually failed the first time and was asked to go down the slope and come up again, but luckily the second time I passed it, and also THANK GOD I managed to do balancing, pass the slope and pass the first part. After that, I was still very afraid, but managed to complete my parking, which was the second part. During my parking, I actually stalled the car 3 times!! But still I managed to pass the parking part, and was asked to go out and do the 3-point turn.

That's when the problem started. I actually, under stress, went into a wrong box which I thought was the box to do the 3-point turn. Then after I realised my STUPID mistake, I panicked and wondered how the hell was I going to solve the problem. However somehow MIRACULOUSLY I managed to reverse out of that spot and drive to the correct box. However, this is how I failed the test: I actually did the first turn properly without stalling the car, then did the reverse okay too (managed to reverse). Then problem arises. I was going to turn out and finish my parking test and also PASS, when... I stalled AGAIN!! Then after that automatically fail already, no second chance. Haiz, I was so going to pass and then come back next week to resit for the road test only. Now I have to come back next Monday to resit for the road test and parking test too.

So right now, my mood is not the best. Right now, I'm thinking what happens if I fail the resit next week? Then there will be no more chances for me already, since I'm going overseas soon after that.  That resit is like my last chance. Maybe that's why I asked for 4 hours of extra classes before my resit next Monday. My only problem is that I get really stress before and during the test, my legs shake, and then I can't control the pedals properly. My hands shake too and then that causes my car to stall. How do I solve this problem?